Abandon all hope, ye who enter here. And while Dante may have been referring to a place of eternal suffering, I still think it’s worthwhile offering a warning to those intending to read this blog, even if I do hope to supply the odd moment of levity. For there will be wailing and there will be gnashing. Read on, at your own risk.

No it’s not going to be pretty, and at times I envisage things getting downright ugly. But let’s not labour on my writing style. There will be beauty too, because there is a lot of beauty in this crazy world. And humour, hopefully, because even if there's some funny shit out there, it tends to pop up at inappropriate times. Like diarrhea. Just like a dose of the runs, I can't promise you any consistency. I can however promise you candid observations. And I won't try to sell you anything, ever.

In the interests of full disclosure, I am a male human, writing from a fortified bunker near the equator. The “human” thing is important here for two reasons. Firstly I am one, and secondly it’s how I would like to be thought of. As opposed to what colour I am, what political barrow I push, or how much money I have; or don’t have for that matter. I tend to let my experiences shape my opinion, rather than any taught or subscribed dogma. In fact I pride myself on remaining as unsubscribed as possible, even if I am a firm believer in the value of team sports. I’ve never opened a book about, nor attended a course on, “how to write”, and this will become obvious the more you read. Hilariously, my first ever essay was titled “S.A.” and the resulting embarrassment has tainted me for life. I have a particular distaste for English teachers and abbreviations to this day. Don’t even get me started on three letter acronyms: although I may visit that particular evil in a future rant. I like a drink, and I like food, and I prefer to enjoy both with company. Indeed some of the more memorable of these encounters may find their way into this blog. Names will be protected for a fee.

Whether you choose to agree or disagree with my observations and opinions I hope you feel moved to comment. Please understand though, I am so fickle, that while you might agree with me wholeheartedly today, I can almost guarantee you’ll be choking on your bile tomorrow. Run with the hare and hunt with the hounds is my mantra.

Ted.